titles and such

What is friendship if not the eternal commitment to love another unconditionally? What are our friends if not the loves of our life, the apples of our eyes? Our true loves. Those that undeniably love us despite our countless imperfections, those that see the raw beauty hidden beneath the facades that we present to the world. Yet when the line between friendship and significant other becomes blurred with intense feelings of infatuation and affection which takes precedence? The unbreakable bond of a friendship or the growing potential of a new relationship. How is it possible that intimacy with our friends, those that we are already so close to, suddenly ruins the sacred pact of friendship? Once the ultimate form of intimacy is achieved, with the friends that are closest to us why does it make everything odd and unsettling? If these are our closest friends why can’t they be our lovers as well? I wonder, why is friendship not enough when it comes to the matters of the heart. The title, the rank, the status is needed to solidify the bond. We are taught that if the title isn’t present in the relationship, then the love doesn’t exist it’s obsolete. But if you already love your friends, why must that love be compartmentalized and compacted as if in a box, and kept there within the confines of the status of a boyfriend. Just to be able to say you are no longer single, to say you are taken and “in a relationship”. I have decided that from now on I will love freely without conforming to the pressures of society, to put a name to the relationship I have with someone I am intimate with. I will give my love away to how many or how few as I see fit. Because in the end, as I’m basking in the glory of my beauty and youth, why must I be tamed and forcefully try to fit myself in a relationship that will eventually end? Like everything else in life, that too shall come to pass. While I am nowhere near marriage, that monumental, immense, enormous commitment that I will someday make, why must I force myself into petty, little, micro marriages, because essentially that’s what having a boyfriend is. Acting like your married, reporting everything you do to another human being, restricting your actions and thoughts, having a new set of rules being imposed on you by someone else. It triggers an avalanche of negative emotions that the human heart wasn’t designed to experience; jealousy, anger, spite, bitterness, abuse. Why would I willingly succumb to that when I don’t even have the emotional capability or knowledge to deal with a taste of the married life. So is it expected of me, till I take the plunge and get married, to butcher my heart dealing with the incompetence and immaturity of the men I commit my love to? Why can’t I just love whoever I want to without restrictions? Love is a lifestyle, not a title or position. And if you already love someone, that in itself is it’s own special form of commitment, because you are committing to giving them a bit of your heart. Love is too big of a feeling to be trapped and suffocated behind the weak, small title of boyfriend or girlfriend.